My darling ____________________,
Hello to you! Beautiful you. Wondrous, magnificent, miraculous you. I haven't met you yet, but somehow...I most-definitely already know you. You are my children. The living creatures I am meant to bring into physical form. I can already feel the awesome blessing behind that! And I want you to know -- that I am already doing everything I can think to do to become the best version of myself in preparation of your arrival. (Arrivals? Will you arrive at the same time? Different times? Hmm...)
I have been deep into personal development for as long as I can remember. I turned 32 years old this past April. I have learned so much about myself and about the world I live in...and about the world I want to contribute to; I want to be an example of the qualities that I believe are full of grace and love and compassion and expansion. I want to allow the layers of muck that I have accumulated thus far on my life's adventures -- I want to allow the stuff that is not authentic to who I truly am to fall away. I want to allow it all to burn.
By allowing the falseness to burn away, all I will be left with is authentic. If I show up to my life authentically, I will never need you, my beloved children, to ever be anything other than YOUR authentic selves. If I can find my footing as an individual now, before you have physically entered my life, then when that time comes...I will be open, available, present; when you come to talk to me, I will be able to be right there with you in that moment -- not distracted by my own probably-not-very-important-but-definitely-pulling-me-down-and-leaving-me-feeling-bad-or-at-the-very-least-drained. When you run to me to say that someone was mean to you, I will be able to remind you that everyone is trying their best, and we always have a choice whether we welcome others' hatred into our own hearts or continue to respond from a place of love.
By choosing to confront my own demons now, to address matters of physical health now, to truly learn what unconditional love is now and how to live it not just speak it...I am paving the way to be the best version of myself I can be. Why am I choosing to go through such destructive processes "pre-emptively?" (And I assure you -- the process of becoming myself most-certainly involved much destruction, for I must allow those before-mentioned falsenesses to burn away.) Why am I choosing to do all this? ...for you. I'm doing it for you, my miraculous little creatures.
I don't tell you this to incite any feelings of guilt or sadness, but the total opposite; I haven't even met you yet, and already I can feel how much I love you, how worthy you are as individual people walking this earth, and how blessed I'm going to be to get to play a part in your stories. I am here to do some big work -- I know this to be true -- but, you? You're here to do something even more epic.
I don't tell you this to put weight on your shoulders, to feed your egos, or to try to force you into any particular direction; I tell you this to remind you of the power of Love. The love I feel for the people of the world will be passed on to you. The love I feel for myself will be passed on to you. The love I feel for you will be passed on to you. You will know love. And you will embrace it, not run from it. By learning how to love, to be loved, to truly give love (not just attraction or attachment) -- I will be able to be a solid unwavering example to you of Love. And you will be able to take that example and add it into your individual mixes of Magic & Truth, and with that combination...you will do epic things. Just by being your authentic selves, you will do epic things. Just by choosing to BE who you legitimately are, and to show up to life that way, to participate and contribute from that stance of authenticity and Love...by just relaxing and allowing yourself to flow you will be epic.
You will not be unique in this (everyone is epic -- just to be alive is epic!), BUT...you will also not be common in this (most people hide from their true selves, deny themselves the love they crave, and cling to visions of unworthiness whilst wishing themselves to be worthy).
I realized that if I could learn to truly love myself -- then, I would be able to teach you that the same is true for you. I realized that if I could learn how to forgive -- then, I would be able to teach you that the same is possible for you. I realized that if I could learn how to communicate clearly -- then, I would be able to teach you how to do the same. I realized that if I could learn to accept myself for who I am -- then, I would be able to teach you of the awesome peace, calm, and inspiration that flows from that.
I realized that if I could allow myself to blossom as an individual, then I would be able to show up as the mom you, my beloved children, deserve.
...and what could possibly be more important than that?
I can't yet see you, but oh -- how I can already feel you...
(P.S.: I'm 32 years old, and this letter just took me 32 minutes to write. 4:56pm. Boom.)